an awkward feeling. ♥

hearts beating faster..

paces getting slower..

i actually don't know where the feeling comes?

but being nervous this time is a different thing..

                        

                       Today is January 18, 2012. tomorrow is my birthday.. my 18th birthday.. instead of being excited, nervousness reigns in my veins.. eighteen years of waiting for this moment. i remember the days when i was still young. i imagined every detail of the party that i can have for that event, every detail of my gown, every viand that will be served, and every guest that will come. having my gentleman escort near me, and the teary eyes of my mother staring. all of those were such a dream.. but today, at this very moment, i want those dreams to be dumped. i don't want parties, i don't want celebrations, i don't want anything. the word CORNY was on my mind. and it really is.. more than that, i am not yet ready for a legal age.. with commitments, responsibilities, and rules!!! rules rules rules.. how can i ever escape this moment. i am not getting any younger. and every tick-tock of my clock reminds me  of getting old. goodbye to all those baby cries.. goodbye to all those puppy love. i can't go home with splatters of mud in my face, or icings on my face. i am no longer a kid carrying my lunchbox and towels on my back. i am already a grown up.. TOMORROW, my world will change from the moment that the clock strike twelve.. God Bless me..